Hate me ...hate me!

Just a few days back I got this so called constructive criticism from a supposed mentor. I am quoting her " Tiene ta reclama na di tu yu custumbre, ya sabe ya daw te di atun hefe"...I was caught off guard. Lost for words I just proceeded with asking, "Quien man daw se ma'am ya reclama? Nuay ba yo conese atende? then she replied, " Nusabe yo quien...Numa ya lang tu reganya otravez na mga patiente." Ting!!! I can feel my blood rushing through my body...I just said to myself it's futile to try justifying, let go and let loose. I took a breather, thought of positive things and went to continue doing my job. For a while the tactic worked and then at some point the idea came back and it bugged me a lot. I just had to think back of any scenario me taking on my patients and scolding them like foolish dumb assess! I could not recall one instance I reprimanded any of them. I was even asking my companion of any instance that I was doing the allegation set against me, they too can not call to mind me being such. I was left to conclude that my imparting of education to my patients were all but nags. Poor me, extending gestures of concern, was made to appear the antagonist. I learned now that being apathetic as much as I can will do me good. Damn if I do, damn If I don't!

Move over JUSTICE LEAGUE!

It was only yesterday that i realized the full extent of the consequences of becoming a nurse here in the Philippines. I only hear of anecdotes of some sort on how government nurses go beyond capacity in order to attend to their patients. Fortunate I consider myself because the hospital where I am working now is limited in terms of it's capacity and capability. Our hospital is categorized as Primary, meaning it can only accommodate simple medical, OB-GYN and emergency cases. I do not intend diminish the said hospital but as I mentioned it is categorically "PRIMARY". I just cannot relate this nominal category of the hospital to the functionality the NURSING SERVICE assumes. Where in the world can you see a hospital having nurses assuming the jobs of the pharmacist, cashier, IW's, security personnel and even at times that of the doctor? Move over super friends! talk about multi-tasking! Oh for the love of NIGHTINGALE, these added functions are surmountable. What really pisses me the most are the inconsiderate significant others and even patients that demand a lot. It is quite understandable that they are ill and that they need care yet, they also have to realize that we are individuals, humans just like them. We become tired, hungry and impatient. It is never the fault of nurses when they retaliate back given the above circumstance. How can I become therapeutic if I am all alone to carry out the many functions in the hospital? In my duties I am responsible to man the ward, the out patient department, the emergency room and the delivery room all at the same time (not to forget the above extra functions we get to do in some occasions).This is reality for us...We do not have supernatural powers...and still we deliver!

Of recantations, of taking back

As I have read the many articles that I have written here, it made me realize how frustrated I was with the profession I have chosen to live. And yet, ironic as it may be, destiny has its way of putting things in its right perspective. Yes. I am a practicing nurse now. A government nurse to be exact. It just up to now can not sink into me that after all of the many sacrifices, the free labor, the indulgences to many a gimmick and the eventual frustration, I end up where I am suppose to be, a registered nurse, assuming a PAID JOB in a health care facility. I guess it's just a matter of time that I will be able to have a share in the spot light. It is really indeed dignifying to have remuneration to the services one has rendered. This new development will always remain one major milestone in my career. The task ahead is daunting, it is even frightening, yet I must face it all...Everything is bound to be in its place...just keep the faith...

It's all about the money

This is a shout out to nurses who up to now do not see that many of us in the profession are becoming easy prey for those sharks wanting to take advantage of the many ambitions we have and of our ultimate aspiration of finding greener pastures in another country. These sharks, yes, they are quite plenty out there, have only one pursuit that is draining us and our significant others, our hard earned monies! From the very beginning that we have decided to enroll in nursing schools up to graduation, up until the preparations for the local board exam and not to forget the varried examinations one has to pass to go abroad, we see a lot of institutions and entity offering a lot of packages, gimmicks, and promises that come with a hefty cost. Most often than not, we easily fall for these things. Then we become registered nurses with a believe that our qualifications can land us a job only realizing that our expectations have fallen short. Hospitals adopt a policy that every new nurse recruit must do volunteer job for a specified period of time. Volunteer... meaning not even a single centavo is given to the nurse for the rendered service. After the volunteer period the new recruit passes scrutiny by the management of the hospital and if they don't find the nurse apt they can just easily let him/her go with just a certification of training given to him/her that server as a some sort of pay for the voluntary services. These hospital saves a big chunk in the cost of wages for employees as they can avail of free nursing services by the neophyte nurses. Where's the dignity in nursing profession then? Rendering voluntary services is not the sole injutice in the nursing profession, there are the many trainings and workshops the nurse has to undergo, as the nursing profession is ever evolving. These advancement of course comes with a fee. The new nurse who has just did volunteer work avails of these opportunities with much exictement again believing that such opportunities are investments. Bottom line: No matter how qualified and competent the nurse become, he/she only end up doing volunteer job in hospitals.

That thing called LOVE...

Who can define what really love is? Is it just a mere emotion? Or is it a thought process? This is one difficult term to define. I always remember how this topic on love was discussed in our philosophy class. The term phenomenology is always attached to it. Yes, accordingly love is a phenomenon. It is an occurence which follows certain pattern. Yet like the chicken-chick preceedence argument, the phenomenology of love also has unfatomable issues. It is said that love came to exist with out a beginning nor can it come to an end. There is a complexity in the parties that are involved in the pheomenon. There is the lover on one side and the beloved on the other. The lover initiates the phenomenon when he expresses verbally and willfuly his love to the beloved. The beloved or the recepient acknowledges the expression or act done by the lover. This phase is said to be the onset of love yet it cannot be considered as the beginning of love since love itself is already present or felt either by the lover or the beloved long before the said initiation. Now, as I have presented the parties early on, we can probably destinguish the kinesthetic roles of both the parties in the phenomenon. We can say that the lover assumes the active role in the phenomenon as he initiates the process while the beloved has the passive role since he acknowledges the act by the lover and carries on with the phenomenon. But this puzzles me most, once this "initial stage" has already taken its course, there seems to be an interchange in the roles and parties of the phenomenon. The lover now becomes the beloved as the beloved reciprocates the act done by the lover to him causing the effect of transforming the lover into the beloved. Talking about complexities...Love is one difficult experience to comprehend. The contextual presentation of love as a phenomenon I believe is considerably inapt to provide a clear picture of what love really is. Then the discussion continues on by giving emphasis on the importance of the lover loving the beloved. Between the two parties, it is said that the lover has the greatest role compared to the beloved. It is partialy true since the lover takes on the active role in the phenomenon. He is the initiator. The beloved is given less importance since he only get to recieve what is given him implicitly saying that whithout the insinuation of the lover the phenomenon may not come to be... But I wonder how come loving can not come to cease when in fact it's a phenomenon, a process so to speak. The initial phase was already identified, I guess that a culmination phase is supposed to exist at some point. They say that the lover must continue on loving the beloved even it hurts. This is the instrinsic nature of the lover, that he loves even it hurts and is supposed to love more till it numbs the pain away...Then again I am refuting all of these assumptions. All along this time, this contextual presentation is bias in favor of the beloved. It seems to present the ideology that the lover plays the most significant role yet his is the most sacrificial. The beloved has the passive less signifant role yet his is most beneficial. Using the rule of logic, man can only comprehend to a certain extent...It is normal for him to cry foul when he is in pain. After all man is a rational being, he is endowed with the gift of judgment. It is up to him to use it. Blessed are they who are patient, kind and forgiving to their erring beloved for a monument shall be built in their honor! MABUHAY ANG MGA MARTYR!