Of recantations, of taking back

As I have read the many articles that I have written here, it made me realize how frustrated I was with the profession I have chosen to live. And yet, ironic as it may be, destiny has its way of putting things in its right perspective. Yes. I am a practicing nurse now. A government nurse to be exact. It just up to now can not sink into me that after all of the many sacrifices, the free labor, the indulgences to many a gimmick and the eventual frustration, I end up where I am suppose to be, a registered nurse, assuming a PAID JOB in a health care facility. I guess it's just a matter of time that I will be able to have a share in the spot light. It is really indeed dignifying to have remuneration to the services one has rendered. This new development will always remain one major milestone in my career. The task ahead is daunting, it is even frightening, yet I must face it all...Everything is bound to be in its place...just keep the faith...

It's all about the money

This is a shout out to nurses who up to now do not see that many of us in the profession are becoming easy prey for those sharks wanting to take advantage of the many ambitions we have and of our ultimate aspiration of finding greener pastures in another country. These sharks, yes, they are quite plenty out there, have only one pursuit that is draining us and our significant others, our hard earned monies! From the very beginning that we have decided to enroll in nursing schools up to graduation, up until the preparations for the local board exam and not to forget the varried examinations one has to pass to go abroad, we see a lot of institutions and entity offering a lot of packages, gimmicks, and promises that come with a hefty cost. Most often than not, we easily fall for these things. Then we become registered nurses with a believe that our qualifications can land us a job only realizing that our expectations have fallen short. Hospitals adopt a policy that every new nurse recruit must do volunteer job for a specified period of time. Volunteer... meaning not even a single centavo is given to the nurse for the rendered service. After the volunteer period the new recruit passes scrutiny by the management of the hospital and if they don't find the nurse apt they can just easily let him/her go with just a certification of training given to him/her that server as a some sort of pay for the voluntary services. These hospital saves a big chunk in the cost of wages for employees as they can avail of free nursing services by the neophyte nurses. Where's the dignity in nursing profession then? Rendering voluntary services is not the sole injutice in the nursing profession, there are the many trainings and workshops the nurse has to undergo, as the nursing profession is ever evolving. These advancement of course comes with a fee. The new nurse who has just did volunteer work avails of these opportunities with much exictement again believing that such opportunities are investments. Bottom line: No matter how qualified and competent the nurse become, he/she only end up doing volunteer job in hospitals.

That thing called LOVE...

Who can define what really love is? Is it just a mere emotion? Or is it a thought process? This is one difficult term to define. I always remember how this topic on love was discussed in our philosophy class. The term phenomenology is always attached to it. Yes, accordingly love is a phenomenon. It is an occurence which follows certain pattern. Yet like the chicken-chick preceedence argument, the phenomenology of love also has unfatomable issues. It is said that love came to exist with out a beginning nor can it come to an end. There is a complexity in the parties that are involved in the pheomenon. There is the lover on one side and the beloved on the other. The lover initiates the phenomenon when he expresses verbally and willfuly his love to the beloved. The beloved or the recepient acknowledges the expression or act done by the lover. This phase is said to be the onset of love yet it cannot be considered as the beginning of love since love itself is already present or felt either by the lover or the beloved long before the said initiation. Now, as I have presented the parties early on, we can probably destinguish the kinesthetic roles of both the parties in the phenomenon. We can say that the lover assumes the active role in the phenomenon as he initiates the process while the beloved has the passive role since he acknowledges the act by the lover and carries on with the phenomenon. But this puzzles me most, once this "initial stage" has already taken its course, there seems to be an interchange in the roles and parties of the phenomenon. The lover now becomes the beloved as the beloved reciprocates the act done by the lover to him causing the effect of transforming the lover into the beloved. Talking about complexities...Love is one difficult experience to comprehend. The contextual presentation of love as a phenomenon I believe is considerably inapt to provide a clear picture of what love really is. Then the discussion continues on by giving emphasis on the importance of the lover loving the beloved. Between the two parties, it is said that the lover has the greatest role compared to the beloved. It is partialy true since the lover takes on the active role in the phenomenon. He is the initiator. The beloved is given less importance since he only get to recieve what is given him implicitly saying that whithout the insinuation of the lover the phenomenon may not come to be... But I wonder how come loving can not come to cease when in fact it's a phenomenon, a process so to speak. The initial phase was already identified, I guess that a culmination phase is supposed to exist at some point. They say that the lover must continue on loving the beloved even it hurts. This is the instrinsic nature of the lover, that he loves even it hurts and is supposed to love more till it numbs the pain away...Then again I am refuting all of these assumptions. All along this time, this contextual presentation is bias in favor of the beloved. It seems to present the ideology that the lover plays the most significant role yet his is the most sacrificial. The beloved has the passive less signifant role yet his is most beneficial. Using the rule of logic, man can only comprehend to a certain extent...It is normal for him to cry foul when he is in pain. After all man is a rational being, he is endowed with the gift of judgment. It is up to him to use it. Blessed are they who are patient, kind and forgiving to their erring beloved for a monument shall be built in their honor! MABUHAY ANG MGA MARTYR!

Exodus

Mom and a couple of her cousins would be leaving the beloved PHILIPPINES very soon. All for the promise of a more powerful purchasing capacity with the monies that they will be earning soon. This is the best consolation I guess they have in their minds considering the many trade offs they are willing to give up. Not withstanding the fact that my mom and folks are already at the prime of their life, they have accapted the offer to live and work in a not so foreign country. Mom and the folks will soon become Japayukis! No, they won't be entertainers. Instead they will work in factories and fill in the scarce resource of labor. My mom is already a veteran public school teacher. She already produced professionals of many sorts. Yet, she can not deny that her noble vocation does not commensurate the many sacrifices she's making. Mom is about to retire in a few more years. She has been teaching for more than half of her life and yet economy wise, her productive years in government service did not provide for more than what was just basic. Mom's and the folk's leaving are not a welcome development for us their loved ones. All our lives, this is the first instance that we will be separated from our mom. It's not that we can not be without her, it's just not the same anymore without her around. She will be away for quite a time. This is the inconvenience every family faces having a member who is an overseas worker. The absenteeism creates many a void in the relationship. If only the government can provide more than what is basic to it's employees and the citizens as well, who would want to sacrifice the ordeal of getting estranged to a family just to be able to provide for them by working in a foriegn land? Economic conveniences can provide a lot of good but it can also result to a lot of drawbacks...But still, going abroad is being patriotic....If you are given the opportunity to leave the country, would you?

She...

It was a gloomy Monday morning. The sky was all gray. Drops of rain pour down from the sky as if sympathizing over the loss of one matriarch. There were people arround, taking cover from the rain, chanting prayers of some sort. We just reached the place from a not so distant origin. Still lacking from sleep, we brushed aside this need and tried to find for our selves seats under the made roofing and amongst people chanting. Then we saw familiar faces. Gestures were made to acknowledge our presence. They too were absorbed with the chanting. After the prayers and chanting the stone-cold matriarch is now ready to be brought to the chappel for the funeral mass and rites. She was the lead in her march. People behind her was a picture of grief and exhaustion.From a hill there was the chappel. She was a very meek structure. She patiently awaits her guest, wanting also to pay her final respect to the matriarch. The procession haulted as the matriarch entered the hallowed ground first and was allowed to position on the isle infront of the altar. The people from behind took their seats on the pews and patiently waited for the priest to arrive and minister over the rites. Then the rain pour heavily as if again signifying grief and anguish. Drenched in rain, finally the priest arrived. He quickly changed to his ministerial garment and went on to preside over the rites. Once again, prayers, songs and chantings were heard coupled with weepings and wailings. It must have been too painful to say goodbye to the matriarch. The end of the rituals is already coming to its near yet the rain never ceased. I was deep in my thoughts on how are we suppose to bring the matriarch to her final resting place with this condition. Coming from the pews, a familiar face came upfront with the request made by the priest to allow her to speak her concerns regarding the passing away of the matriarch. She was addressing the folks of the momeries she has had with the matriarch and she relayed one instance where she and the matriarch had a candid conversation. She continued on saying that she was a young girl then with an ever so curious mind. She proceeded asking the matriarch "WHAT IS A MOTHER?" A very difficult question indeed. Yet, the matriarch instantaneously responded, " I AM YOUR MOTHER WHILE YOU STILL NEED ME FOR YOUR BASIC NECESSITIES. I CEASE TO BE YOUR MOTHER WHEN YOU GROW AND BECOME LEARNETH, INSTEAD I BECOME YOUR MENTOR. I NOW GUIDE AND TEACH YOU ABOUT LIFE AND IT'S REALITIES. THEN I BECOME YOUR BESTFRIEND WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY ALL GROWN UP. I NO LONGER AM A MENTOR BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAD YOUR FORMATIVE YEARS. I AM NOW YOUR BESTFRIEND BECAUSE I WANT TO CARRY ON THE RELATIONSHIP I HAVE TRIED TO LIVE UP ALL MY LIFE WITH YOU.ALL OF THESE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU." Then out of no where I have felt something in my heart. As I look around I saw people in tears, some are even holding it in, but still moved by what we just have heard...The matriarch after the ceremonies was laid to her final resting place amidst heavy pouring. People had gone to the extent of allowing themselves to get drenched in the rain and get cold...The matriarch is not at all from a well off family. She was a mother and a plain home maker. Her husband is a simple famer who toils the land just to support his and the matriarchs offsprings, 13 all in all...Life can summon the most difficult of trials but these are always surmountable...not because of our individual strategies nor that of anybody elses' but for the innapparent yet contstant LOVE given to us from the persons whom we call our MOTHER.